Joys of a Preschooler

RJ started preshcool last week. One of the moms offered to take him to preschool if I dropped him off at her house. Works great for me because otherwise I don't get to work until 10 am. Anyway, yesterday was his first day of the carpool. When I dropped him off, he had a HUGE smile on his face and was so happy. You see, we often drop his older brother off at friend's houses to be carpooled to school or summer daycamps.This is the 1st time RJ has had the same opportunity as his brother and he was thrilled to bits! Then when i picked him up later, he was so happy and shouted "Mommy I GOT HOMEWORK!!" as he showed the paper to me which had the letter A on it for him to tracen and learn how to write letters. I was just so pleased so see him so happy.

Day # 4

Day #4 of crying that is.
Dinner time: 7 yr old..whining and whining that he wants to eat ribs when he knows they are about to come out of the oven and will be hot. He just pushes my buttons. I had to go downstairs away from him to give myself a time out or else I would have been yelling incessantly at him.

Bed time: 4 yr old drags it out like he does every night.
I have no more patience and am drained. I ran out of 4 yr old bedroom crying and rolling onto my bed like a child having a tantrum and just lay there and sobbed.

I feel defeated and that i keep trying to get up but hit a wall. It's like going through a maze...but I can't find the finish line just lots of dead ends each one another conflict or issue with my boyz.

I know if late hubby were here, my kids would not be like this. He would not let them. I didn't like the way he disciplined our children but regardless, what he did worked and whatever I am doing is not working.

On being a Single Parent

It sucks. Being suddenly thrown into single parenting without having a say in the matter really sucks. Dear Hubby was the disciplinarian..with him gone, all respect for mom has gone out the window. 4 year old says "mom is stupid", "I hate mom". 7 year old threw a very large "finger crayon" (kind with a point ont the end) at the back of my head when I told him he couldn't eat snacks later since he didn't want to eat his breakfast. It's the same breakfast he has eaten many times before, but decided today that "it smells". Funny how his younger brother didnt' notice a "smell". 4 year old has a complete mind of his own and will block me out when I talk or push and push to get his way. I am mentally exhausted and feel defeated. I have cried 3 days in a row at the lack of cooperation I get from my kids and that fact that they misbehave and don't listen. I feel so inept like I can't look after them and sometimes feel like leaving the house because I dont' want to be around them. I will see a counsellor soon as I don't know what to do anymore.