Friday Fears

Today is Friday. Most people look forward to Fridays. Most people like Fridays. Not me. Aside from the fact that Friday is the day my husband died, it is also a day that loneliness comes on the most. As I drive home from work on my way to pick up the kids, it always feels lonely because I know that we have a weekend ahead of us without hubby to do family stuff with. Because my boys are so young and active, it is hard for me to take them both out on my own. Usually from Monday to Thursday night, I have another adult in my house helping me with the kids, like Grandma or nanny. But Fridays is just the 3 of us. I sometimes dread it so will make a point of hanging out with Grandma. I hate that losing my husband has caused me to feel insecure and needy in so many ways. I need to get past this but it's hard.