Coping

Some days I feel like I can handle this new lifestyle. I am ok with it. Other days it is so hard. Being suddenly thrown into single parenthood at the same time as dealing with the shock of the sudden passing of a life partner is a lot to bear. I previously said I dread weekends. Today is a good example of why.
I don't seem to have patience to spend 48hours straight with my boyz. I need a break...a friend suggested I send them for a sleepover at grandparent's..what a great idea so I did it today. I so needed a break from them. I sometimes feel guilty that I honestly want to be away from them but they drain me and exhaust me. I love them so much yet my patience string is so short and being with them for so long causes me stress. They dont' listen and it frustrates me. At 7 years old, JJ can not be controlled....and 4 yr old little brother just wants to follow everything big brother does. Come brush your teeth, get changed, we are going, eat your lunch, dont' hit your brother, on and on it goes...i sound like a nag..maybe that's why they don't listen!! So many emotions to deal with in a day..anger, frustration, guilt, impatience, despair....
I guess I need to think about the good days, when I having a bad one...